So I’ve Been Thinking…

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Photo and caption by myself :)

Photo and caption by myself🙂

You know that indignant feeling you get when someone has wronged you? That feeling that rises up inside you and can control you in either a negative or positive way? I’ve been thinking a lot today and I’ve come to some conclusions…

What’s inside that feeling? Let’s dissect it. I think the heart of it is anger…but then again, isn’t anger and sadness really one in the same? Isn’t sadness just suppressed anger and anger is sadness that is coming to the surface? What else? I think that this feeling is like an equation…but what comes after the equal sign? That’s the real question.

Many times in the past, that feeling has gotten the best of me…made me act out of the anger inside of it…but that can be good too. I think that anger is a natural feeling and when controlled, has a very important role in life. Anger makes a person not just roll over and let someone punch them; it makes you fight back. I believe all feelings are natural…it’s what you do with them that counts.

So what do you do when that feeling comes up inside you? I’ll tell you what I have done many times but what I decided NOT to let happen today. I usually let it control me and my feelings. But isn’t that giving the person who caused it just a little too much power? In a way, isn’t that kind of unfair to them? NO ONE should have that much control over your life. If they do, you need to figure out why. YOU are the ONLY person who has that much control over your life.

You. Period.

You are all the happiness you will ever need. You are in control of your feelings and your response to those feelings. If someone has come into your life (and if they haven’t yet, they will) and you are letting their actions/non-actions control how you feel, you shouldn’t be angry at them; you should be angry at YOU. Sure, whatever he/she did may have been really bad but it’s YOUR life. You decide how you’re going to live and feel about it.

I got that feeling today and I almost acted negatively. But then…that stirring anger came up inside me and I felt it say, “NO. No one will have this much control over my day.” I put a stop to it. And you know what? I had a pretty damn good day as a result of it. And now here I am writing this post about it…hopefully helping the 3 people who read my blog.😉

So, next time you get that feeling, remember it’s a good thing. The anger and the sadness, it’s all good. Let it be your guide but make sure you remember that what’s on the other side of the equal sign is a positive. That’s up to you. Life’s gonna throw all kinds of stuff at you. You get to decide how you take it.

Be happy, everyone. You only have one life.

 

WTH?

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Just one of those things that always bothers me…IMG_9700 IMG_9701

Every time I walk through the undergarment area in a store, I always laugh at the models they use to promote the modern-day corset undergarments. Really? Are these the people wearing these things? Come on. Are the ladies who actually wear these thinking that these models are heavier under these garments but that the “ULTRA FIRM CONTROL” has made these women appear to be a size 2?

PUT A WOMAN WHO ACTUALLY NEEDS ONE OF THESE GARMENTS ON THE PACKAGE. That is the only realistic way to market these things. But they couldn’t do that because we all know that all these things do is push fat from one area into another. No one is losing a size. The only way to do that is diet and exercise. The models in these photos haven’t lost a size. All these garments did for them was emphasize their already small shape.

Get real.

My Apartment: An Active War Zone

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Roaches BEWARE

Roaches BEWARE

I hate going to my apartment after dark because there are GIANT roaches that wait outside on the concrete steps.  There are 30 or so steps that I have to take down to my apartment.  I see it as a war zone and I am the enemy.  I think one day that I will have to strap roach fogger spray to my body and run up and down those stairs until I’ve killed them all and I’ve passed out from the fumes.  I hate roaches.  I think they should all die a slow, painful death.

So, the other night I was moving stuff into my apartment and I start coming down the stairs with my first load.  I see one on the stairs…looking at me.  His disgusting roach gaze met me.  I thought of turning back.  But alas, I had about 7 more trips from my car to my apartment and I decided I wasn’t going to let this evil villain stop me from accomplishing the task at hand.  So I marched forward.  He turned and watched me as I went.  I could feel him staring at me.  And then I rounded the corner.  He must have called for backup because his nastier and MUCH larger friend was waiting for me.  I panicked…backing into the corner…but then realized that there could be one behind me too.  Then the rage came up inside of me.  Like that moment in The Patriot where Mel Gibson goes into a fury and slaughters all those enemy soldiers.  That was me.  There was death in my eyes.  I took off a shoe and threw it at the monster.  I was still scared though and so my shaky throw intended to smash and kill the giant monster missed him…but I scared him.  He felt my fury and he ran.
I took my load inside and made my way back out and up those steps, this time with a little more fire in my step.  As I walked toward these nasty creatures, they scattered away from me.  I felt myself becoming more and more confident.  After the 3rd trip, I realized 2 things:

  1. Roaches are more afraid of me than I am of them.
  2. The more of a commotion I make when they are near, the more afraid they become and the faster they run away.

So, each and every time I came down those stairs, I jumped and made a big commotion and the little bastards ran away…until the 5th trip…one met me in the middle of the sidewalk.  I couldn’t go around him and my commotion didn’t seem to bother him.  It was a battle of wills.  He was turned to his side and as I got closer to him, I felt a tinge of fear and I hesitated.  He felt it too and he turned toward me.  There we were, looking at each other for a split second.  Someone had to make a choice.  So I did it.  I smashed the evil demon under my foot.  I then moved my foot and looked at what I had done.  He laid there, twitching in pain.  I thought about leaving him there the way he was but I wanted to send a message to his militia.  And this is no stretch of the truth.  I actually did this.  I smashed him as hard as I could under my foot, then looked down and made sure that he was no longer recognizable as a living thing.  Then I looked down to the 30 or so steps ahead of me and I saw the rest of his force and I said out loud, “Let that be a lesson to you all.”  And I meant it.

No other roach came anywhere near me the rest of the night.  I used to fear their deathly stares but now they fear ME.  So, for all of you roaches out there, beware.  I have a vendetta to kill you all.  And this first death was only a lesson.  The rest of you will not be so lucky to die in such a humane way…

Penguins Can Fly?

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PenguinsI recently visited the Georgia Aquarium.  I love that place.  I could sit there all day staring at those fish🙂

Something else I could watch all day…PEOPLE.  People are so interesting.  I am a lover of humor and I find the natural things people do quite humorous.  So, I’m at the Georgia Aquarium and I’m watching the penguins (yay penguins!).  I overhear these 2 know-it-alls conversing.  They’re going back and forth about stuff they obviously have no idea about (I’m chuckling to myself).  The penguins are wearing these little beads on their wing (pictured).  I don’t know what it’s for but I assume it is some type of marker so they can tell the penguins apart.  I make a joke that the penguins are wearing little bracelets.  Know-it-all number 1 (I will here on out refer to her as “Dumber” of the Dumb and Dumber duet) decides to answer me with her brilliant knowledge of all things penguin.  Dumber says, “That’s so that they can’t fly away.”

…o_O

First of all, the penguins are in a glass enclosure indoors.  Second, PENGUINS CAN’T FLY!  Hahahaha!

I laughed so hard.  Thank you Dumb and Dumber for making my trip to the Georgia Aquarium awesome.  Besides the ginormous whale shark, the icky octopus and the sea dragon, you were one of my favorite experiences of the day.

Photos

Jelly Fish

Fishies🙂

More Fishies🙂

So yeah…I’m 33…

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This is Brutus, my buddy.  He got dressed up for my 30th birthday :)

This is Brutus, my buddy. He got all dressed up for my 30th birthday🙂

Since turning 20, I’ve always had weirdness around my birthday.  I don’t like getting older so I see my birthday as a reminder that it’s out of my hands and there’s nothing I can do about it…the number keeps going up.  You know what though?  I was looking at a photo of myself from a few years ago and I look better now than I did then!  Why spoil my birthday with yucky thoughts about getting older?  So let’s be positive about aging.  There’s nothing we can do about it anyway so let’s be happy.

Getting older has its advantages too, you know.  Here are some good things about getting older:

  1. This rule is not hard-and-fast but usually you gain wisdom with age…although I know some pretty dumb older people…so that’s why I say it’s not for sure…usually.  If you aren’t getting wiser with age, maybe you need to read more or take some ginkgo biloba (does that stuff really work?).  Get that brain working – a non-working brain cannot gain wisdom.
  2. Eating cake.  Every birthday you get a piece of cake…now, the older you get, the less acceptable it is to eat a giant piece of cake.  Plus, with all that dieting and exercise you have to do because you’re getting older, you get a much deserved piece of cake…ahem…or two.  Now, this doesn’t have anything to do with old age.  Even the toddler gets to smash a piece of cake into his face on his special day so enjoy it until the day your teeth fall out…and then eat the icing.
  3. People usually become forgetful as they get older.  This has to be the best one I would think.  Let’s say you’re not forgetful yet…but people your age usually are…lean on that.  It will get you out of a lot of trouble (wink, wink).
  4. Reading glasses.  I just visited the eye doctor last week and she told me that once I turn 40, I will need glasses to read close up.  This doesn’t excite me at all…but for all of you dumb folks out there without any wisdom…this COULD give you the appearance of intelligence.  So that’s good.
  5. Your own personal holiday.  Don’t fall under the assumption that just because 20,000,000 other people were born on the same day as you that this day doesn’t belong to you.  And if you work in an office where you share a birthday, duke it out ahead of time.  We all need our special holiday.  Don’t share.  It’s the only day you can be selfish and no one can say anything.

That’s it.  The world as I see it.  Be happy everybody…and a little selfish too😉

When Your World Stops Turning

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why

Some questions don’t have answers.

“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.”
~Robert Gary Lee

It’s crazy how life can change so much in what feels like the blink of an eye. Life is never perfect but when things are going great, it can feel that way at times…but things can quickly change and make your world stop turning. You look around at everyone else still going about their lives and you wonder how they can keep going when your world has stopped spinning.

But what does it all mean? Why are we “allowed” to go through these hard times that seem to break us into a million pieces? Some of us never recover from these difficulties…why? Why would a loving God allow this? Be honest. You have asked yourself this question. Even the person with the strongest faith has asked this question at some time in their life…and if you haven’t, you will. Is it a bad thing to question? No. Questioning is a very good thing. It allows you to work through everything. Soul searching is good. It puts strength behind your faith and your beliefs. Don’t push it away or deny its existence. Question. But also realize that some questions don’t have answers…or maybe the answers are something you will never know. Are you willing to accept that?

One year ago today at 12:24am, my mom passed away unexpectedly. I found myself asking why? I still do. I don’t understand why such a good person was allowed to die in such an awful way when there are horrible people who live to be 100. WHY? I don’t have answers. I suppose I never will until I see God face-to-face and then all will be revealed. But I trust Him. He loved my mama. And although she had pains that lasted for a short while, she is now in paradise with the One she read about and loved all her life…a promise fulfilled. The circumstances surrounding it I don’t understand. But I know that she will never suffer again. She will never cry again, never want for anything, never feel the pain of a broken heart again, never feel any pain in her body again, never be hurt by another person. Ever. I love my sweet mama and although I miss her, there is nothing better I could wish for her. The most unselfish part of me is truly happy for her now. She has a new body and she is with the One the Bible describes simply as “Love” (1 John 4:8).

Then why these tears? Why am I still sad? Why was I left behind to feel the pain that she doesn’t experience? Truthfully, I don’t know. And honestly, I have asked many times between that awful day and today for God to take me too. But God still has purpose for me. What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. God loves me and has a plan that only He knows and only I can play out. Keep asking why though and don’t see it as a bad thing. Let it strengthen you as you work through it all. Life is a process. Just decide that no matter what happens, you will never allow it to permanently bring you down. Learn from it all, the positive and the negative. And whether you believe in God or not, choose to be love in a world full of hate.