So yeah…I’m 33…

This is Brutus, my buddy. He got all dressed up for my 30th birthday 🙂

Since turning 20, I’ve always had weirdness around my birthday.  I don’t like getting older so I see my birthday as a reminder that it’s out of my hands and there’s nothing I can do about it…the number keeps going up.  You know what though?  I was looking at a photo of myself from a few years ago and I look better now than I did then!  Why spoil my birthday with yucky thoughts about getting older?  So let’s be positive about aging.  There’s nothing we can do about it anyway so let’s be happy.

Getting older has its advantages too, you know.  Here are some good things about getting older:

1. This rule is not hard-and-fast but usually you gain wisdom with age…although I know some pretty dumb older people…so that’s why I say it’s not for sure…usually.  If you aren’t getting wiser with age, maybe you need to read more or take some ginkgo biloba (does that stuff really work?).  Get that brain working – a non-working brain cannot gain wisdom.
2. Eating cake.  Every birthday you get a piece of cake…now, the older you get, the less acceptable it is to eat a giant piece of cake.  Plus, with all that dieting and exercise you have to do because you’re getting older, you get a much deserved piece of cake…ahem…or two.  Now, this doesn’t have anything to do with old age.  Even the toddler gets to smash a piece of cake into his face on his special day so enjoy it until the day your teeth fall out…and then eat the icing.
3. People usually become forgetful as they get older.  This has to be the best one I would think.  Let’s say you’re not forgetful yet…but people your age usually are…lean on that.  It will get you out of a lot of trouble (wink, wink).
4. Reading glasses.  I just visited the eye doctor last week and she told me that once I turn 40, I will need glasses to read close up.  This doesn’t excite me at all…but for all of you dumb folks out there without any wisdom…this COULD give you the appearance of intelligence.  So that’s good.
5. Your own personal holiday.  Don’t fall under the assumption that just because 20,000,000 other people were born on the same day as you that this day doesn’t belong to you.  And if you work in an office where you share a birthday, duke it out ahead of time.  We all need our special holiday.  Don’t share.  It’s the only day you can be selfish and no one can say anything.

That’s it.  The world as I see it.  Be happy everybody…and a little selfish too 😉

When Your World Stops Turning

Some questions don’t have answers.

“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.”
~Robert Gary Lee

It’s crazy how life can change so much in what feels like the blink of an eye. Life is never perfect but when things are going great, it can feel that way at times…but things can quickly change and make your world stop turning. You look around at everyone else still going about their lives and you wonder how they can keep going when your world has stopped spinning.

But what does it all mean? Why are we “allowed” to go through these hard times that seem to break us into a million pieces? Some of us never recover from these difficulties…why? Why would a loving God allow this? Be honest. You have asked yourself this question. Even the person with the strongest faith has asked this question at some time in their life…and if you haven’t, you will. Is it a bad thing to question? No. Questioning is a very good thing. It allows you to work through everything. Soul searching is good. It puts strength behind your faith and your beliefs. Don’t push it away or deny its existence. Question. But also realize that some questions don’t have answers…or maybe the answers are something you will never know. Are you willing to accept that?

One year ago today at 12:24am, my mom passed away unexpectedly. I found myself asking why? I still do. I don’t understand why such a good person was allowed to die in such an awful way when there are horrible people who live to be 100. WHY? I don’t have answers. I suppose I never will until I see God face-to-face and then all will be revealed. But I trust Him. He loved my mama. And although she had pains that lasted for a short while, she is now in paradise with the One she read about and loved all her life…a promise fulfilled. The circumstances surrounding it I don’t understand. But I know that she will never suffer again. She will never cry again, never want for anything, never feel the pain of a broken heart again, never feel any pain in her body again, never be hurt by another person. Ever. I love my sweet mama and although I miss her, there is nothing better I could wish for her. The most unselfish part of me is truly happy for her now. She has a new body and she is with the One the Bible describes simply as “Love” (1 John 4:8).

Then why these tears? Why am I still sad? Why was I left behind to feel the pain that she doesn’t experience? Truthfully, I don’t know. And honestly, I have asked many times between that awful day and today for God to take me too. But God still has purpose for me. What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. God loves me and has a plan that only He knows and only I can play out. Keep asking why though and don’t see it as a bad thing. Let it strengthen you as you work through it all. Life is a process. Just decide that no matter what happens, you will never allow it to permanently bring you down. Learn from it all, the positive and the negative. And whether you believe in God or not, choose to be love in a world full of hate.