When Your World Stops Turning

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why

Some questions don’t have answers.

“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain.”
~Robert Gary Lee

It’s crazy how life can change so much in what feels like the blink of an eye. Life is never perfect but when things are going great, it can feel that way at times…but things can quickly change and make your world stop turning. You look around at everyone else still going about their lives and you wonder how they can keep going when your world has stopped spinning.

But what does it all mean? Why are we “allowed” to go through these hard times that seem to break us into a million pieces? Some of us never recover from these difficulties…why? Why would a loving God allow this? Be honest. You have asked yourself this question. Even the person with the strongest faith has asked this question at some time in their life…and if you haven’t, you will. Is it a bad thing to question? No. Questioning is a very good thing. It allows you to work through everything. Soul searching is good. It puts strength behind your faith and your beliefs. Don’t push it away or deny its existence. Question. But also realize that some questions don’t have answers…or maybe the answers are something you will never know. Are you willing to accept that?

One year ago today at 12:24am, my mom passed away unexpectedly. I found myself asking why? I still do. I don’t understand why such a good person was allowed to die in such an awful way when there are horrible people who live to be 100. WHY? I don’t have answers. I suppose I never will until I see God face-to-face and then all will be revealed. But I trust Him. He loved my mama. And although she had pains that lasted for a short while, she is now in paradise with the One she read about and loved all her life…a promise fulfilled. The circumstances surrounding it I don’t understand. But I know that she will never suffer again. She will never cry again, never want for anything, never feel the pain of a broken heart again, never feel any pain in her body again, never be hurt by another person. Ever. I love my sweet mama and although I miss her, there is nothing better I could wish for her. The most unselfish part of me is truly happy for her now. She has a new body and she is with the One the Bible describes simply as “Love” (1 John 4:8).

Then why these tears? Why am I still sad? Why was I left behind to feel the pain that she doesn’t experience? Truthfully, I don’t know. And honestly, I have asked many times between that awful day and today for God to take me too. But God still has purpose for me. What doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger. God loves me and has a plan that only He knows and only I can play out. Keep asking why though and don’t see it as a bad thing. Let it strengthen you as you work through it all. Life is a process. Just decide that no matter what happens, you will never allow it to permanently bring you down. Learn from it all, the positive and the negative. And whether you believe in God or not, choose to be love in a world full of hate.

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4 responses »

  1. Why is a tough question. One that only God can answer. You know what they say: He works in mysterious ways, and his ways of answering are not what and how we expect them to be. You’ll get your answer in God’s time. Meanwhile hang on to what you wrote: Don’t let it permanently bring you down.
    Glad to read you again. 🙂

    • Exactly. I may not get the answers but I’ve accepted that too. Not every question has an answer….and some answers are never made known to us for whatever reason. Just have to trust. Thanks!

  2. Wow! Very touching. Inspiring. I have a similar post on my other blog (www.letusbefrank.wordpress.com) about “Why do we mourn?”. My understanding is that we mourn because we feel left out. We feel alone, even though, like you wrote, we understand the loved one who is gone is not suffering anymore. But like you also said, we are still here for a reason. Only God understands fully what our purpose here is.

    • Thank you for your comment. I agree with you but I also think that there are many reasons one may mourn. At first, mine was selfish because I just wanted her back but now I mourn purely because I miss her. If I was given the opportunity to bring her back, honestly, I would let God keep her. She would be so mad at me if I brought her back here after spending time in heaven! Haha! But I miss her. I miss her laugh and her infectious smile and the way she always called me baby. It’s okay to mourn. Remember when Jesus wept over the death of Lazarus? Even Jesus mourned. It’s human. It wouldn’t be normal if we all showed up to someone’s funeral and were happy. We miss that person and it’s part of the grieving process to be sad and to mourn their absence in our life.

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