Operation: No Caffeine

Let the insanity commence.
Lately, I’ve been reading about caffeine and how cutting it out of your diet can change everything. Anyone who knows me knows that one of the things I enjoy most in this life is coffee. I love it. I love the smell and the anticipation of that first taste every morning.
However, I’ve been feeling kind of crappy (to put it lightly). I can’t sleep. My muscles are sore a lot for no apparent reason. I have extreme PMS. Seriously, I actually went to the doctor for it. My exact words were, “You gotta give me something to help my PMS. I’m a raving bitch.”
The past 2 weeks I have really been pondering all these things and what to do. Everything that I have read suggests that my insomnia, muscle aches and PMS could be a result of caffeine. I realize I’m not a spring chicken anymore so some of this could be aging. But what if most of it is from the supposed “toxic” substance I willingly put into my body every day?
So, I have decided to try to rid my diet of caffeine. I decided this before really looking into it. Did you know that chocolate has caffeine in it?!?! WTF??? Ok…stay strong…deep breaths. I can do this.
Okay so step one: I bought decaf coffee. Did you know that even effing decaf coffee has caffeine in it?! So I guess this is just a step toward becoming completely caffeine free.
Step two: Avoid chocolate. Hell no, I’m not cutting this out of my diet altogether. I’m on a very low calorie diet so it’s not like I eat it a lot anyway. Sometimes chocolate is the only thing that can make your day better. Case in point: I ate an entire bag of Lindt chocolates the day my dog died. Didn’t bring my dog back but sure as hell made me feel better.
Step three: Develop a timeline for completely ridding myself of caffeine. I’m thinking 6 months is a good start. Everything I have read suggests that cutting it out cold turkey is really not a good idea.

Well, wish me luck. Here’s to feeling better and less “raving bitch-like” behavior.

Interesting reading:
http://bodytechnician.com/caffeine.html
http://www.webmd.com/balance/caffeine-myths-and-facts

I’m Sensitive

Sensitive is a part of myself I’ve been trying to change for years. Today I woke up and thought, “Why?” Why is it that I’m trying to change who I really am? I’m not overly sensitive (At least I don’t think I am). I’m just Jane…
1. I cry during chick flicks (although at the time I’ll try to play it off like I just have a stuffy nose).
2. I still wish I was a princess. You should have seen my wedding dress – so Cinderella…tiara and all.
3. My favorite color is pink. Any shade, any hue…love it all.
4. I love hearts. Seriously – I see something with hearts on it and I’m like a moth to a flame.
5. I try to act tough. I’m probably 25% tough and 75% falling apart. I play the tough part really well though.
6. I’m a sucker for a red rose. I know it’s cliche but I can’t help it. They’re so pretty! Sometimes I think God invented them just for me.
7. I love makeup. I work out of a home office and I still do my makeup every day. Gotta feel pretty at all times.
8. I believe shaving your legs is one of the most important parts of feeling beautiful. No joking. On fat days, I force myself to shave my legs and I suddenly feel like a sexy, shiny goddess. How can a girl feel sexy when she has a forest on her legs?
9. I am a hopeless romantic but I’ll never say it out loud. One of those parts of me I try to pretend doesn’t exist.
10. I love things that sparkle. Diamonds, makeup, vampires…I love it all.

This song by Jewel probably explains my personality the best.

I’m Sensitive
I was thinking that I might fly today
Just to disprove all the things you say
It doesn’t take a talent to be mean
Your words can crush things that are unseen
So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive
And I’d like to stay that way.
You always tell me that is impossible
To be respected and be a girl
Why’s it gotta be so complicated?
Why you gotta tell me if I’m hated?
So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive
And I’d like to stay that way.
I was thinking that it might do some good
If we robbed the cynics and took all their food
That way what they believe will have taken place
And we’ll give it to anybody who has some faith
So please be careful with me, I’m sensitive
And I’d like to stay that way.
I have this theory that if we’re told we’re bad
Then that’s the only idea we’ll ever have
But maybe if we are surrounded in beauty
Someday we will become what we see
‘Cause anyone can start a conflict
It’s harder yet to disregard it
I’d rather see the world from another angle
We are everyday angels
Be careful with me ’cause I’d like to stay that way

She is my Sister

I have a best friend.
She is my sister.
Born from the same mother and father.
Sharing the same experiences whether we are together or apart.

She is strength.
She is beauty.
She is encouragement.
She is wisdom.

Blood and friendship bind us together.
We are a bond that cannot be broken.
A relationship that is like none other.
A love that will never die.

Take your vitamins!

No joke, I have not been sick one time in over a year (But I will inevitably get sick for having written this – damn Murphy’s Law). AND before the cold I got in December of 2010, it had been 2 years. Why am I telling you this? Because I used to get sick ALL THE TIME. Seriously, I always had a cold – the last one usually ending as the new one began.

Well, I was complaining about it one day and a friend told me to start taking a multi vitamin. I started right away and I have been almost cold free since.

So, stop being sick and take your vitamins! Now, I’m not a doctor so I can’t guarantee anything. I’m just telling you my irrefutable personal experience. Take it or leave it – I’m just trying to make you feel better and make your co-workers (and anyone else you come into contact with) happy because you’re no longer spreading your germs all over the place! Now start popping those pills!

Bathroom Pictures

I despise it. Stop it, ladies (and yes, some gentlemen)! There is nothing flattering about your pretty face with a toilet in the background. I’ve even seen photos of girls in public restrooms and you can actually see the stall in the background with someone’s pants around her ankles! Do us all a favor and crop that shit out! Better yet, just stop altogether. There are so many other places to take a photo!
Let’s also not forget the lovely close ups of a girl on the toilet with the hand towel in the background. This should be embarrassing to you. Why subject the world to one of the most vulgar parts of what we, as human beings all do? However, you still don’t seem to have gotten the message.
Well, here it is. I will lay it out for you. Pictures at parties, in you car (hopefully not while driving), in front of the Eiffel Tower, dancing, performing, sleeping…I think you get the picture – these are OK. Pictures of you in the bathroom, on the toilet, 2 or more of you in front of the bathroom sink with the toilet in the background, etc., NOT OK. Got it? Good.

Amateur Photographer

That’s right! I am now an amateur photographer selling my photos on BigStockPhoto.com! My gallery of 47 images can be viewed at the following link: http://www.bigstockphoto.com/profile/JaneEmily

As of yet, none have sold, but that is not the accomplishment. To me, the accomplishment was taking 47 photos that were considered good enough to be accepted by a stock photo site. I can’t tell you the feeling of achievement this gives me. I bought my camera for this very purpose a little over a year ago and now it has finally come to fruition.

This is only the beginning. I plan to upload my photos to many other stock photo sites and hopefully make a nice little side business out of it. I have a lot to learn about photography. I’ve got a few books to read and I hope to take some classes to learn more.

UPDATE: Just sold my first image! No longer an amateur! Officially professional now!

So You Think You’re Funny…

I love a good joke.  I live to laugh, I really do.  Just stop doing it at other peoples’ expense.  I’m not talking about laughing at your friend when they trip up the stairs.  That’s funny.  I’m talking about making a joke at someone’s expense that could only hurt them.  You’re not funny.  You’re just a bully.  You’re also not a comedian.  You’re just an asshole.

Stupid People

There are way too many of them out there.  I encounter them every day.  I’m not saying I’m the smartest person in the world – not even close.  I am just saying that there are way too many stupid people.  Maybe they don’t know how to get smarter?  I will tell you.  It’s not about smarts – it’s about common sense.  Before you let that thought out of your mind:

1. Google your question to see if someone else has already asked it.
2. Say the question out loud – sometimes you will find that you can answer your own questions just by hearing them out loud.
3. Read the entire email – STOP SKIM READING!  You’re missing valuable information!
4. Read more – it will make your brain work a little harder.
5. Play some sort of game that requires brain function – quit the video games and do a crossword puzzle or sudoku.
6. Start a journal.  Sometimes the best way to clear your mind is by writing down the stupid things you think.
7. Take a yoga class – it will help you to focus all that stupid energy of yours into something useful.
8. More emphasis must be put on the simplicity of reading a book.  Doesn’t matter which one – let’s just work on getting more words into that your vocabulary of yours.
9. Stop taking people so seriously.  Look up the word “sarcasm” in the dictionary…and then look up a few more while you’re at it.
10. Take a walk – clear the cobwebs out of that hazy mind of yours.

Jane, That’s Me

Yep, I’m Jane.  I’m quirky, a little verbose at times and I always over think everything.  Here is the place where I will let all that out.  I love to laugh. It helps me forget about my problems. You should try it.  I’m also the most girly girl you’ll ever meet. If it’s pink with hearts and flowers, I’ll love it.

I’m a true friend, a lover, a fighter, a poet, a sinner and a great shoulder to cry on.  Love me, hate me, take me or leave me.  I’m Jane, that’s me.

Insomnia

Written by Jane Emily Buchanan
February 13, 2013

I loathe you.
You trick me every night.
I lay restless, tossing and turning, heart pounding, mind racing.
Why do you hold me so tight, so close?
Why won’t you allow me to drift and dream?
I grow weak because of your possessive hold on me.
You keep me awake most nights.
My eyes are heavy but my mind is awake.
You haunt me.
The fine line between dream and reality grows unsteady.
Let me be. Let me dream. Let me sleep.