So yeah…I’m 33…

This is Brutus, my buddy. He got all dressed up for my 30th birthday 🙂

Since turning 20, I’ve always had weirdness around my birthday.  I don’t like getting older so I see my birthday as a reminder that it’s out of my hands and there’s nothing I can do about it…the number keeps going up.  You know what though?  I was looking at a photo of myself from a few years ago and I look better now than I did then!  Why spoil my birthday with yucky thoughts about getting older?  So let’s be positive about aging.  There’s nothing we can do about it anyway so let’s be happy.

Getting older has its advantages too, you know.  Here are some good things about getting older:

1. This rule is not hard-and-fast but usually you gain wisdom with age…although I know some pretty dumb older people…so that’s why I say it’s not for sure…usually.  If you aren’t getting wiser with age, maybe you need to read more or take some ginkgo biloba (does that stuff really work?).  Get that brain working – a non-working brain cannot gain wisdom.
2. Eating cake.  Every birthday you get a piece of cake…now, the older you get, the less acceptable it is to eat a giant piece of cake.  Plus, with all that dieting and exercise you have to do because you’re getting older, you get a much deserved piece of cake…ahem…or two.  Now, this doesn’t have anything to do with old age.  Even the toddler gets to smash a piece of cake into his face on his special day so enjoy it until the day your teeth fall out…and then eat the icing.
3. People usually become forgetful as they get older.  This has to be the best one I would think.  Let’s say you’re not forgetful yet…but people your age usually are…lean on that.  It will get you out of a lot of trouble (wink, wink).
4. Reading glasses.  I just visited the eye doctor last week and she told me that once I turn 40, I will need glasses to read close up.  This doesn’t excite me at all…but for all of you dumb folks out there without any wisdom…this COULD give you the appearance of intelligence.  So that’s good.
5. Your own personal holiday.  Don’t fall under the assumption that just because 20,000,000 other people were born on the same day as you that this day doesn’t belong to you.  And if you work in an office where you share a birthday, duke it out ahead of time.  We all need our special holiday.  Don’t share.  It’s the only day you can be selfish and no one can say anything.

That’s it.  The world as I see it.  Be happy everybody…and a little selfish too 😉

Starbucks Epiphany

Define: You

I’m sitting in Starbucks now, watching a man outside in a wheelchair.  He is paralyzed from the neck down. His wheelchair is motorized and he controls it by blowing into a breathing tube.  He has a computer in front of him and he is typing by holding a long stick (for lack of a better word) in his mouth and typing on his keyboard.  His mother (or caregiver) is there, taking care of him.  Every once in a while, she gets up and helps him to take a sip of his drink.  Such love.  Such dedication.  She is reading a book but also looks around at the people staring at her son.  I see that she’s okay with people looking but if someone looked upon him with anything negative, I can tell that she is the kind of woman who would have something to say to that person…and rightly so.

I wonder how he got that way?  So sad but he has adapted.  His mother has also adapted.  When she had a son, did she imagine it to be this way?  Most parents imagine taking care of their children until they are old enough to take care of themselves.  But this man will never be able to take care of himself.  He will always need her there.  I wonder if that makes her angry in a way or if she loves to take care of him.  She is stern.  I usually would interpret that as someone who is unhappy but maybe she is just strong-willed and it is showing up on her face.  She has been through a lot.  One thing is true: She LOVES her son.

I looked at his face as I walked by.  I can tell he is a handsome man.  I’m sure he probably wanted to be married one day, to love someone, to start a family.  But now his reality is sitting in that chair.  But what else?  Does his chair define him?  He didn’t look sad.  He didn’t look distraught or unhappy in any way.  He looked content.  There is something to be learned from these two…

First of all, stop complaining.  No matter how bad you think you have it, someone somewhere has it worse than you.  Maybe I have it better than this man typing on a keyboard with a stick but at the same time, he can also look out and see that he has it better off than someone else.  It’s perspective.  Maybe I think I am better off than him because I have full use of my body.  But what type of peace and love does he feel in his own life?  What I see as negative, maybe he doesn’t see that way.  Maybe he could look at me and believe he is better off than me?

Second, your life isn’t always going to turn out the way you thought it would.  Does that mean that life is over?  Over because your perfect life plan didn’t turn out the way you thought it would? No.  You adapt.  Sometimes your life is headed the way you direct it and others, it may be pushed a certain way by God, fate or circumstances beyond your control.  But what do you do when things are beyond your control or you are pushed?  Adapt.  We, as human beings have a great ability to adapt…and not only adapt, but SHINE.  So, your life isn’t what you thought it would be…get on with it.  There is reason and purpose for everything.  You aren’t dead yet so keep fighting.  Don’t give up.

Don’t define yourself by anything negative, ever.  It won’t help you.  It will only hurt you in the long run.  For years, I have called myself a sinner.  But recently, I am opening my mind a little more and seeing things in a new light.  I am NOT a sinner.  I sin but sinning does NOT define me.  Therefore, I am a good person, a person full of good and positive.  Yes, I sin, lie, cheat, speak hateful words at times, make bad decisions, etc.  But is that who I am or are those things just byproducts of weak moments in my life?  Am I a liar?  No.  Do I lie?  Yes.  What defines me?  Compassion, empathy, trust, honesty, faith, loyalty, LOVE.

Watching this young man and his mother today, I can’t help but wonder how each of them would define themselves.  I wonder if they both have peace with the way their life is or if it is a constant battle.  I pray for them now that they will see the beauty of what they have and that peace will find them if they have not found it yet.

What defines you?  It’s something to think about.

Related article: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/73

Dear Me: I Love You

The picture you see is a doodle I made last night.  I looked in the mirror at myself and the negative inner dialogue started.  I had to stop myself though.  I decided to invite “Positive” inside and push the negative out.  I started telling myself things like, “You can do this.  You will succeed.  You are great.  You are beautiful.  You are successful.”  I wrote this out and took a picture of it so that I could constantly remind myself of these words.  My inner voice is terrible and unloving sometimes.  I had to silence it last night with positive words of love to myself.

How important is it to love yourself?  It’s the first part of loving others.  Believe in what the Bible says or not, you have to agree that “Love your neighbor as you love yourself,” is a GREAT verse (Matthew 22:39).  Have you ever noticed that we tend to focus on the loving your neighbor part but not the loving yourself?  This seems like the key to the entire verse.  How can you love others if you don’t love yourself?  I battle with this too so I’m talking to myself.  I just wanted to share what I’ve been thinking about lately.

Love yourself so that you CAN love others effectively.  Take time for yourself – just a little bit each day.  If you never give yourself any time, you will begin to resent others when they ask for help.  Do something that makes you happy.  Write in a journal, read a book, take a walk, go to the gym – show yourself love so that you can show your love to others.  It’s important.

Dear Me: I love you.