So I’ve Been Thinking…

Photo and caption by myself 🙂

You know that indignant feeling you get when someone has wronged you? That feeling that rises up inside you and can control you in either a negative or positive way? I’ve been thinking a lot today and I’ve come to some conclusions…

What’s inside that feeling? Let’s dissect it. I think the heart of it is anger…but then again, isn’t anger and sadness really one in the same? Isn’t sadness just suppressed anger and anger is sadness that is coming to the surface? What else? I think that this feeling is like an equation…but what comes after the equal sign? That’s the real question.

Many times in the past, that feeling has gotten the best of me…made me act out of the anger inside of it…but that can be good too. I think that anger is a natural feeling and when controlled, has a very important role in life. Anger makes a person not just roll over and let someone punch them; it makes you fight back. I believe all feelings are natural…it’s what you do with them that counts.

So what do you do when that feeling comes up inside you? I’ll tell you what I have done many times but what I decided NOT to let happen today. I usually let it control me and my feelings. But isn’t that giving the person who caused it just a little too much power? In a way, isn’t that kind of unfair to them? NO ONE should have that much control over your life. If they do, you need to figure out why. YOU are the ONLY person who has that much control over your life.

You. Period.

You are all the happiness you will ever need. You are in control of your feelings and your response to those feelings. If someone has come into your life (and if they haven’t yet, they will) and you are letting their actions/non-actions control how you feel, you shouldn’t be angry at them; you should be angry at YOU. Sure, whatever he/she did may have been really bad but it’s YOUR life. You decide how you’re going to live and feel about it.

I got that feeling today and I almost acted negatively. But then…that stirring anger came up inside me and I felt it say, “NO. No one will have this much control over my day.” I put a stop to it. And you know what? I had a pretty damn good day as a result of it. And now here I am writing this post about it…hopefully helping the 3 people who read my blog. 😉

So, next time you get that feeling, remember it’s a good thing. The anger and the sadness, it’s all good. Let it be your guide but make sure you remember that what’s on the other side of the equal sign is a positive. That’s up to you. Life’s gonna throw all kinds of stuff at you. You get to decide how you take it.

Be happy, everyone. You only have one life.

 

Starbucks Epiphany

Define: You

I’m sitting in Starbucks now, watching a man outside in a wheelchair.  He is paralyzed from the neck down. His wheelchair is motorized and he controls it by blowing into a breathing tube.  He has a computer in front of him and he is typing by holding a long stick (for lack of a better word) in his mouth and typing on his keyboard.  His mother (or caregiver) is there, taking care of him.  Every once in a while, she gets up and helps him to take a sip of his drink.  Such love.  Such dedication.  She is reading a book but also looks around at the people staring at her son.  I see that she’s okay with people looking but if someone looked upon him with anything negative, I can tell that she is the kind of woman who would have something to say to that person…and rightly so.

I wonder how he got that way?  So sad but he has adapted.  His mother has also adapted.  When she had a son, did she imagine it to be this way?  Most parents imagine taking care of their children until they are old enough to take care of themselves.  But this man will never be able to take care of himself.  He will always need her there.  I wonder if that makes her angry in a way or if she loves to take care of him.  She is stern.  I usually would interpret that as someone who is unhappy but maybe she is just strong-willed and it is showing up on her face.  She has been through a lot.  One thing is true: She LOVES her son.

I looked at his face as I walked by.  I can tell he is a handsome man.  I’m sure he probably wanted to be married one day, to love someone, to start a family.  But now his reality is sitting in that chair.  But what else?  Does his chair define him?  He didn’t look sad.  He didn’t look distraught or unhappy in any way.  He looked content.  There is something to be learned from these two…

First of all, stop complaining.  No matter how bad you think you have it, someone somewhere has it worse than you.  Maybe I have it better than this man typing on a keyboard with a stick but at the same time, he can also look out and see that he has it better off than someone else.  It’s perspective.  Maybe I think I am better off than him because I have full use of my body.  But what type of peace and love does he feel in his own life?  What I see as negative, maybe he doesn’t see that way.  Maybe he could look at me and believe he is better off than me?

Second, your life isn’t always going to turn out the way you thought it would.  Does that mean that life is over?  Over because your perfect life plan didn’t turn out the way you thought it would? No.  You adapt.  Sometimes your life is headed the way you direct it and others, it may be pushed a certain way by God, fate or circumstances beyond your control.  But what do you do when things are beyond your control or you are pushed?  Adapt.  We, as human beings have a great ability to adapt…and not only adapt, but SHINE.  So, your life isn’t what you thought it would be…get on with it.  There is reason and purpose for everything.  You aren’t dead yet so keep fighting.  Don’t give up.

Don’t define yourself by anything negative, ever.  It won’t help you.  It will only hurt you in the long run.  For years, I have called myself a sinner.  But recently, I am opening my mind a little more and seeing things in a new light.  I am NOT a sinner.  I sin but sinning does NOT define me.  Therefore, I am a good person, a person full of good and positive.  Yes, I sin, lie, cheat, speak hateful words at times, make bad decisions, etc.  But is that who I am or are those things just byproducts of weak moments in my life?  Am I a liar?  No.  Do I lie?  Yes.  What defines me?  Compassion, empathy, trust, honesty, faith, loyalty, LOVE.

Watching this young man and his mother today, I can’t help but wonder how each of them would define themselves.  I wonder if they both have peace with the way their life is or if it is a constant battle.  I pray for them now that they will see the beauty of what they have and that peace will find them if they have not found it yet.

What defines you?  It’s something to think about.

Related article: http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/73