I Am My Mother’s Daughter

Who am I?
I am brave.
I am a free spirit.
I am beautifully imperfect.
I am loving.
I am wonderfully weird.
I am a daydreamer.
I am real…what you see is what you get.
I am my mother’s daughter.
– Jane Emily

Yesterday I was in a store and I walked past a mirror and had to do a double take. I look so much like my mom that I thought I was seeing her for a moment. Looking back, I realize I WAS seeing her. Her beautiful face looks out through my own. We share so many of the same features. What a gift that was given to me. Now, when I am missing her, all I have to do is look in the mirror because there she is, looking right back at me. She left her mark on my life in so many ways. She taught me what it means to love with abandon. Love without expecting anything in return. What a beautiful legacy. I AM MY MOTHER’S DAUGHTER.

Merry Christmas, everyone!  I hope you have a blessed holiday and a happy new year!  Don’t let your circumstances define your happiness.  Happiness lives within you.

 

The Music of Rain

 

It has been raining here, in Georgia for hours and I love it.  I’ve been sitting out on my balcony for hours, listening and thinking.  A constant, steady rain, one that brings me comfort.  It’s something about the white noise it creates.  That got me to thinking…

You may or may not know that I LOVE music.  I wish there was a better word but LOVE (yes, in all caps) will have to do.  I always have a song stuck in my head at any given moment of the day and I’m usually singing or humming it.  I’ve been sitting out here for hours, listening to music off and on and I just realized that the reason I love this rain so much is because my mind translates it as music.  My favorite part is the occasional thunder.  It’s like a drum.  It’s beautiful and calming.

That’s all.  My posts have been so serious lately so just to thank you for reading this, I’ll give you some interesting questions to ponder.

• Why do they call it a hamburger if there is no ham in it?
• Why is “abbreviated” such a long word?
• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
• If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
• Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?
• Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
• Why isn’t there mouse flavored cat food?
• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
• You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
• If a 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

 

A Special Bond

Did I tell you my mom owned 5 kittens before she died? I had recently visited her and fell in love with one of them. My husband was not excited about the idea of us taking one (we are still grieving the loss of our dog who passed away January 31, 2012). In fact, he said “No,” when I asked if we could take one.

One kitty in particular had already stolen my heart. I spent the weekend of March 16-18 taking pictures of her and playing with her.

After my mom passed away, I told my husband, “You know, you have to let me have this kitten now.” His simple reply was, “Yes.” So, that’s that! I now have a sweet kitten! Not just any kitten though. This kitten is special. This kitten was loved and brought into this world with the help of my mom. She was there the entire time mama kitty was giving birth to all these kittens. We were looking at her calendar after she passed and she was documenting important moments in their lives, just like a mother would do with her baby. We share a special bond. We were both loved by my mom. Enjoy the pictures – isn’t she cute?

P.S. I named her Debbie in honor of my mom.

10 Things I Have Learned

My sister, Margie, and me with my mom. We surprised her by coming to see her for Mother's Day weekend that year (May 2010). Isn't she pretty?

First of all, I’m not “over” the death of my mom.  That isn’t possible.  Anyone who has ever lost a loved one they were very close to knows what I’m talking about.  There is a hole in your heart that belongs to that special person.  To fill it with something or someone else would be a dishonor to them.  My mom left a hole in my heart and it will never be filled.  But that’s okay because no one else deserves that spot but her.  Second, I have learned a few things through the death of my mom (It hurts even just to type that).  I thought I’d share them with you.

1. You don’t learn how to get through the loss of losing a parent. You just learn how to breathe again.
2. When your entire life comes crumbling around you is when you find out who your true friends are. Some may surprise you because some aren’t there when you thought they would be. And others appear out of nowhere as if they were angels.
3. No matter how far away I am from God, He is always there to pick me up.
4. I’m stronger than I thought I was.
5. I don’t understand God’s plan and that’s okay cause I don’t need to. It’s part of the beauty of being human and allowing Him to be God.
6. One-liner texts or emails can make my day. Makes me know I haven’t been forgotten.
7. Crying is a beautiful, healing thing.  Don’t hold it back.  God made it to help cleanse our body.  Let it out.  It is a sweet release.
8. I need to treasure every single moment I have with those I love.
9. NOTHING matters more than those I love.  I would give EVERYTHING I own to have even just a few moments more with my mom…but even that still wouldn’t be enough.
10. My mom was a treasure here, on earth and I miss her every day in every way.