Think Before You Speak

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Think before you speak.

20120430-011950.jpgSomeone once told me, “You have kind of a big nose.” I’ve been sensitive about my looks ever since. Another person once said, “You’re just plain. Nothing special about your beauty – just average.” I’ve felt ugly ever since. Another person once said about me to someone else, “She’s not smart.” I cried for days over that one and it still hurts to this day. The list goes on for me.

My mom once told me that someone nominated her for something in high school. She overheard someone say about her, “Who would vote for her?” and then called her a name. She told me many times in her life that those words resurfaced quite often in her life and they always hurt just as bad. She suffered from depression as long as I can remember and even tried to kill herself when I was a little girl. Did those words spoken flippantly by an idiot about my sweet mom have anything to do with that?

This post is short and sweet. I just want to make a point. Think before you speak. The words you flippantly speak to another person may haunt them their entire life. Let your words bring healing and love, not poison.

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24 responses »

  1. Great post..
    Beauty catches attention but personality touches the heart..
    Words spoken..bullets fired from gun cannot
    be returned back..both hurt people…
    Its the beauty of words that add more beauty to lips…Not the lipstick…
    Hurting people is just satisfying there self EGO..
    Kind words create hope..hope creates confidence..
    Haters drag you but our Heart should say..
    Luv you..haters..
    Truth and Rose have thrones…xllnt post

  2. I always find it interesting that personal comments are a lot like customer service experiences: All it takes is one “bad” one to erase a myriad of “good” ones. All of the, “Oh, don’t worry about it” or “He/she didn’t mean it” comments count for nothing, no matter how well intended. Seek out the “right” relationships (especially within Christ) and, eventually, the skin grows jjuuuuuuussst a little thicker. 🙂

    • So true. Unfortunately, one of those comments came from a pastor of mine. I thought I had found the right friend. No one is perfect, I know that. His comments about me were uncalled for. They still sting to this day. Hurtful words tend to sting more when they come from someone you love, don’t they?

      • Yep. Because not only does the comment sting, but an implied confidence (confidant) is shattered. Our pastor always used to say to those hurting, “Your truster’s broken.” It too often makes you question much more than just your looks or your intelligence. Sorry to hear about all that. From what little I’ve read of your posts and bio so far, you seem to have come along way confidence and self-image wise. You go girl!!

      • Haha thanks. I’m a work in progress 🙂 Aren’t we all? I’m definitely not as trusting as I used to be in who I call “friend.” I had a funny feeling about this person. I should have trusted that funny feeling. It has never steered me wrong.

  3. Well I think you are smart, talented, creative, beautiful, funny, deep, thoughtful, …did I mention beautiful. It has to be true…it runs in the family, right!!??!!?? Love you! Proud of you!

  4. I love this post. You are so right! It is amazing how one negative remark can stick with you forever. I also love the new look on your blog!

  5. Hey Miss Janey! I’m not quite sure what to make of these blogging awards but I recently received the “Sunshine Blog Award” and I thought I would pass it on to you. It states that it’s for “bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere”, and you have definitely been an inspiration in the relatively short time I’ve been reading, most especially your posts on the passing of your Mom. Whether or not you choose to accept or pass it on isn’t the big deal to me, but letting you know you’ve made a difference, I thought, was. 🙂

    • Wow! Thanks! What an honor! I accept! Glad that my Mom could help me inspire others through my writing. Funny, I didn’t plan on starting this blog to inspire. I started it to get out the thoughts in my crazy head that I never tell anyone about but want to. I have a lot to say but am shy so this was my way of getting it all out. Writing about my mom has been very therapeutic.

      • Ah yes, our plans . . . you mean those things God hears and laughs?? Go back to some of my earliest blogs and you’ll see I started with similar reasons. At the time, I was still working in retail, feeling trapped and wondering what the h@!! I was missing. Stepping away from those jungles and into more of a relationship with God (and my family, AND my home group, AND my church), I can look at it all and say, “Ohhh, THAT’S what I was missing!” And the blog definitely reflects that . . . I’m much calmer now. Ha! Still an instigator though 🙂

      • Hahaha exactly! “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God” (1 Cor. 3:19). Good to know I’m not the only one who started out that way. I still am crazy so there may be some more of my crazy thoughts to come but who knows? I only write when I am inspired. Inspiration seems to be coming only from God lately…maybe I’m just not listening to any of the other influences that I used to let control me anymore.

      • That’s the only inspiration that resonates, usually. I had a time not too long ago where it seemed everywhere I turned I was motivated by something to write about. Then, for the last couple of weeks here . . . nuttin’.

        “LORD, I wait for you; you will answer, Lord my God.” Psalm 38:16

    • Totally agree. I am learning that so many people (myself included) feel that they always have to say something during hard times. Sometimes, silence is okay and just being there for someone is perfect.

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