Did I Really Say Good Bye Only A Week Ago?

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This is the handkerchief that I used to cry tears on when my mom died. Jesus was and is still with us in our grief. John 11:35

This whole last week has been a blur. Exactly 1 week ago today at this very moment (12:24am on March 20, 2012), I said good bye for now. Why do I say for now? That’s because I know with certainty that I’ll see my mom again one day when I, too, pass from this life. I am joyful she is with the Lord.

However, I am also sad because I don’t have her here anymore. She was much too young to be taken from us. Of course, who is to say the time and the day when our loved ones be taken from us? God, the Author and perfecter of our faith. He knew her before she was born. He knit my beloved mother together inside her mother’s womb.
I want to share with you what those precious last moments with my mom on this earth were like.

At 11:53am on March 19, 2012, we noticed a significant drop in her heart rate and blood pressure. There were 4 of us gathered around her hospital bed. Margie, my older sister, Martin, my older brother, Tony, my uncle (my mom was like a 2nd mom to him since she is 18 years older than him), and me. We knew what was going to happen at that point. We told her it was okay, that we would all be okay, that it was time to be with Jesus and not to fight to live anymore. We played music for her (my mom loved music), ran our fingers through her silky hair, assured her that we were still with her and not to be afraid, and we wept.

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This picture was taken March 17, 2012, only 2 days before she left us.

This went on until 12:22am when her levels kept lowering and then finally at 12:24am, her heart stopped beating altogether. There was no struggle. It was peaceful. At 12:24am, she left this world and stepped into the next world.
The world where there is no more pain or tears or sadness. The world where she worships her Jesus not in a church house, but at His feet. Do I wish she was still here? The selfish part of me says, “YES!” But I would never take her away from the paradise she now calls home.

How do I know my mom is in heaven? Because she is the one who introduced me to a man named Jesus Who lived and breathed and died and rose again for me, for us, for her.

I encourage you to read my previous post called, “A Life Remembered” to get a window view of who my mom was. I don’t ask you to read this so that I might get more “likes” or comments or followers. I ask you to read so that your life will be blessed by this woman who was “…a Christian, a wife, a mother and grandmother and friend by the grace of God” (my mom’s own words about herself). Here is an excerpt from that post:

“The last time I saw her well, she was standing on her porch in her purple robe waving good-bye to me. Before we could even get out of the driveway, she sent me a text that said, ‘I miss you.’ About a minute after that, she sent me the very last text she would ever send me. It said, ‘I love you now more than the day you were born.’ ”

One of the last things I said to her was, “Don’t worry about us, Mom. We’ll be okay.” And we will. Life will go on and we will be and ARE better people for having her to call “Mom.”

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9 responses »

  1. Just wanted you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers. I lost my brother very suddenly and unexpectedly a couple of years ago, and while it’s not nearly the same as a mom I know how hard it is to deal with such an unexpected and gaping hole in your life. It sounds like your mom was an amazing woman!

    • Thank you. Hard times for sure. Just trying to figure out how to go on from here. Still grieving quite a bit. I miss her so much. Be sure to treasure each moment you are given with your loved ones.

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